Frankly this year has mostly blown chunks of stinky cat ass but I still have to be pretty happy that I am gainfully employed in an industry that isn't in real danger. ALso, I happen to work in a section of academia that appreciates my ultra quirky personality. My last job did not appreciate me, so although financial aid is a better section of academia because you have zero weird egos and political bullshit that this industry is famous for, you get none of the advantages of working with smart people. And smart people are pretty cool, a little whiny and sorta needy sometimes but overall not having to turn my music down all of the time is most excellent. I remember my last job wanted to know what "kind" of radio I wanted to play when I stupidly asked to play the radio. My new job ought me a sweet new iMac and allows me to download music (through i tunes) and encourages me to do stuff like audit classes---on the clock! Much different atmosphere. I also like the fact that we have "Bitch" magazine in plain view...makes me smile!

Oh God...why? As soon as I turn on the tv, after a long day of familial crap why do I have to see Dave Matthews? Souless, boring, three-steps-up-from-muzak crap. Who likes this? Who is keeping this guy in the green? On what planet do these people reside?

Thank you. I'm honestly so glad to hear this commercial.

Tim is playing a Wavy Gravy compilation. I'm entertained but I'm still buying a car. fuck him.
I know a nor'easter as a snowstorm that will occasionally hit Cleveland in the winter. I had no idea that it was an east coast storm system. Now I know. I think a good occasional storm is really good. It puts everyone back on track and allows us to hunker a bit. Last year we were powerless for a week with hurricane Ike and I spent five days at home with the kids playing Farkle and Cards and the occasional board game. I liked it! Of course, spending 48 hours with the heavens pissing on you and just watching water rise isn't fun. At one point this evening when I could hear the transformer blow and the winds started to blow I kept thinking that there are very limited ways to get off of this peninsula and I wasn't very happy. I am also a bit uncomfortable about what is amounting to a five day weekend. Monday will not be fun.

One more thing to bitch about is this crazy cutter who is in my meditation group. This full grown lady decided to threaten suicide this week. It seems like whenever a storm starts to get all of the attention, the mentally ill bubble to the surface. All I can say is that when you tell me that you are going to end your life I will call the police. Either I have saved your life or I have ensured that you will never tell me that you are going to kill yourself ever again.

Mr DJ has made me a little happier. Earlier today I found out that Pandora thinks I am a gay man. Yes, I like Devo but I'm really not into Tears for Fears. hmmmmm.....

Alrighty, I'm just a little pissed off. By any measure I should be happy because I have a day off tomorrow thanks to the nor'easter which I suppose is causing big problems for someone, frankly it was much worse in my neighborhood in August but whateves. The kids are at least delayed tomorrow so I don't have to wake up at the crack of fucking 5am which also makes me pretty happy but I am more than a little concerned that this "car" thing is turning into a car thing. WTF! For the first time in my goddamn life I have money to pay my bills. on time. all of them. It's a life changing turn. It's not like I can buy everything that I need but I have enough money to live. And I have done my fair share of discretionary spending. I went to NYC, I buy expensive beer, I bought the swanky parking pass at work, I pay my babysitter $12/hr. I spend some cash. But homeboy wants to own the world's shittiest cars and pretend like we are slumming. I'm not INTO THAT anymore. I don't mind living below our means...it's fine that we live in a neighborhood that is a bit sketchy. I don't mind that we consider Cogans Pizza fine dining, I can live without cool clothes and weekly manicures. I can handle it that I don't have a wedding ring and that for my birthday I got a Nintendo DS game (not a game that I asked for, by the way. Oh, and it was used). But I want a reliable car. I have been driving a 2001 Chevy Cavalier for several years now. Frankly, I like the car but it's SMALL for a man who is 6'7" and tow kids and me. It's too SMALL to drive 800 miles in. ANd I don't mind renting a car to drive home. I've rented many cars before and I will rent many cars again. But I'm not going to pick your ass up in Hampton when your car breaks down again at midnight, honey. No way. I have spent all summer jumping his car which is even older than mine. It's time to call it quits and get another car. So, today I spent the day on the phone and online looking for something that is a little bigger, not brand new but under warranty, and affordable. I found a few cars and scheduled a test drive. The man thinks that the car is too expensive. It's not. He thinks we should be debt free before we buy a car which is a gorgeous idea and still an attainable idea but motherfucker we need a car! I love love love Norfolk but it's hardly a city big enough for good mass transit. And yes, zip cars are the shit but we need one car that will start, most of the time, in our driveway. I can read edmunds, I'm hardly falling in love with an SUV and then demanding the leather interior. (although I would fucking love a huge car with leather---but I just can't do it) This is a fucking Mazda Tribute (or a Ford Escape---it's the same car. It is! Ford bought Mazda in 2006). And I'm not asking for any money. I didn't argue when he insisted on keeping the house in Ohio and I didn't give him a hard time when we had to evict the tenants and I didn't give him a hard time about the thousands we lost on that deal. We continue to just break even on that house (my house we will have lost 30,000.00 on) and I don't ask him to sell it and be done. But taking about this car is requiring us to have some sore of financial summit tomorrow. WHat a crock of shit. I think that tomorrow, provided that I can get to the dealership (I have heard that we will all be underwater sometime in the next two days) I am just going to go and get the car. It's my money, what the fuck. It just sucks that I get the shitty resistance.

Next weekend.

Bus: $70/rt Norfolk to Chinatown

Hotel in Midtown: $267/ night

Theater tix: $85

food & drinks: $100

I have never paid more than $90/night for a hotel in NYC but I have always stayed in hostels. My friend said that we are too old to have to worry about getting our crap stolen and I think that she is right. Plus this hotel is cheap for NYC standards and is right around the corner from 30 rock--sweet! I really just want to spend a day looking at crap in chinatown and buying cheap funnies. I am supposed to be able to sleep on this bus which leaves Norfolk at midnight and arrives at 8am in NYC. I just hope that I can actually sleep and that I can get my flask on board with no problem. I plan on getting a day pass for the subway and only hope that it doesn't rain.

Thank you gods of disposable cash. I love you.

I can't post this on FB because I have too many professional type contacts on there. So maybe I'll just keep this LJ for my secret stuff, as I intended in 2002 when I started this journal.

There was good news in the casa on Friday, I got the job offer that I have been waiting for since July. The money isn't good but the opportunities are endless. Opportunity tops cash for me right now. Not because I'll actually follow through on everything but because since I moved here I've needed something to keep me moving forward and away from Ohio with the house that isn't selling and the 15 year old who isn't living with me and the job that I had there which sucked a bit of my soul away. Then my Mom, who at age 79 can't quite get over her jealousy of me which is extra strange because I have no idea what she is jealous of! And I have mo kids here who have kept me busy with their school and making friends and all of the things that kids do but when I was left with myself I felt like I had a sack of problems and that was it. Of course, the rejections from employers was a big bummer. I have applied for a little over a hundred jobs, had five interviews which netted me two job offers.

Enough. I will be working with really smart women, one who does annual relief work in Cape Town every summer. So here is the live of the charmed poor: my husband may end up in North Africa all next summer doing a summer fulbright and I may end up a month in South Africa assisting a professor and her research. Happy ending. And it may be next summer--who the hell knows? On a day-to-day basis life is getting better because I am close enough to walk to work, and commuting around here is a bitch. And I hired a sweet, compassionate student to work with my daughter after school. Nice!


Things are on the horizon that never were before. And this past week I was contacted about starting an improv workshop for a university theater department. I am giddy over the thought of teaching improv twice a week and working with college kids. I have written an eight week course several times now and have planned for this opportunity for years.

We are actually starting to be a pretty disgustingly functional family. We joined the YMCA here which is really pretty swanky. It's a six floor facility with almost everything we could need. My son said "hey, they don't even care that we aren't Christians..." I don't know about that son but they will take our money anyway. Because I can't hear anymore, it's pretty dangerous for me to ride my bike on the streets but I can ride the stationary bikes, no problem. In fact I rode 40 miles already this week. I still get shut down by most of the 60 year old men in the cardio room. I'm a big fat tub of goo but I can slowly change that.

My man is at a conference at Georgetown for the next three days. boo.

So with two job offers, I have been forced to contact the employer with whom I really want to work and sort of back them into a corner and let them know that although I was very interested in their job, I had received another offer and needed to know my status. I have totally proceeded with the first job but the second employer has invested a shitload of time and money on me already (well, more time than money) and I think that they really want to offer me something but they are probably stuck on what to pay me. I would be taking a pay cut to work either job. But I would rather have the walk to work office and the dressing up, getting my MPA as opposed to the drive all over, everyday is different MA in Ed job. I end up with a masters either route. One of my new friends was just laughing at me about the MPA (she called it a worthless degree) however, she hasn't been in the job market lately, it's a glut of advanced degrees and with so many people back in school, the glut is only going to get gluttier. MA's are a cash cow for universities, I hate to participate in the game but I really hate not making cash.

So I spent the last 16 years with the kids, the next 16 are all about getting a career so I can actually enjoy a job for three years and retire at 75. Living life backwards may be the best mistake I've ever made!

I had a orientation today to enter the extra glamorous world of substitute teaching. Actually not a bad gig, if they like me I can get a provisional teachers license which will allow me 3 years to get my MA in Spec Ed. So they will start me at a silly wage but if I get a provisional teachers license I'll make over 40k which is more money than I have ever made. I do like the kids, that has never been a problem for me, but being stuck in a classroom for 7 hours a day may make me a little crazy. So I had better have a sensory area for me with black light posters and disco music and a poster of Matt Dillon. If I can hang in a classroom after I get my MA, I can become a Intervention Specialist and make in the neighborhood of $60k which sounds like a good number. Funny, too because I have never made much money, never. I used to brag about working as an actress until it occurred to me that most people wouldn't consider how I lived in my late teens early 20's as really living. My standards have always been on the low side. But now, I can see that money isn't half bad. It remains to be seen if I will even get a classroom, they may hate me.

So VA is weird, it's crazy funky and I think that I like it. I had a conversation in the locker room at the YMCA about putting deodorant on one's thighs to keep one's legs from chaffing. Somehow this sweet little old woman made sticking deodorant up your skirt sound just as quaint as it could be. Maybe it was the North Carolina twang, or her sincerity, or the fact that I had just been chemically assaulted by the pool, either way I was bobbing right along with everything that Aunt Bee said. And when she mentioned that "It sure helps when you spend all Sunday long in the church.." I just nodded. I totally love the south, and not just because I am allowed to talk endlessly about food...no I love the south because as long as I keep a friendly tone to my voice, I can talk about any bat-shit-crazy thing that I want to. For aging chicks like me, it's nirvana. I would have been mortified traipsing through Target in heels and my hair all done but here I felt totally justified to parade my beauty while shopping for knock off laundry room accessories. And seriously, there is a man who plays the piano in their Nordstrom's. A MAN PLAYING THE PIANO IN THE WOMEN'S DEPARTMENT! And, AND the little gift store I like in Ghent giftwraps everything that I buy. How fucking cool is that? Frankly the store smells of old hippie but they wrap my stuff! I remember buying a present at a little crafty store in Columbus and I felt guilty about having to ask for a bit of tape so I could wrap the gift myself in the store. *sigh* but that store in Columbus did sell the "Librarians are Sexy" mug that I bought my librarian sister which she loved. That mug may be a little too ironic for the very gentile Southerners here but that's ok. Irony is for people who live through ice storms and hurricanes in the same year.

Was it this time four years ago that I first entertained the idea of moving south when I went to visit my internet boyfriend in Atlanta? Hard to believe how much has changed since then. Atlanta is a beautiful town, full of everything nice but I'm so glad that I met Tim and I'm really glad to be here. I still don't rule out the pacific northwest as the place I should live but for now, I'm happy.

No doubt, I'm dying. I"m supposed to be in AZ this weekend, yucking it up and hanging with the elk in Flagstaff but I'm hanging in VA sick as something sick. I actually like the dreamy, floating feeling of a fever and were it not for the stuffy nose and headache, I would be very happy. I used to pay my dealer to feel this way. (Actually, I bought all of my drugs from my friend who would always indulge with me. Now, you couldn't pay me to smoke pot or drop acid). So I wanted to go to the art museum today but I had a sudden surge of civic duty to keep my germs to myself and decided to go to the beach and let the healing powers of the Chesapeake Bay work their magic. Actually, this may have worked because I was euphoric sitting on the steps to the beach. Maybe it was the fever. And now I am wondering if I will experience every cold virus that it is native to the area of which I am new. fuck. Well, the good news is that my son has a new buddy and they spent the entire day at Busch Gardens. And tomorrow if I am not 1/2 dead, we are going to the free opera performance in Norfolk. There is so much to do in this town, it's awesome. I am also planning my weekend in DC next month. It looks like Amtrak and cheap hotel in Arlington. I <3 the district.