Chimera

Thanksgiving

2009-11-26T03:27:49Z

Frankly this year has mostly blown chunks of stinky cat ass but I still have to be pretty happy that I am gainfully employed in an industry that isn't in real danger. ALso, I happen to work in a section of academia that appreciates my ultra quirky personality. My last job did not appreciate me, so although financial aid is a better section of academia because you have zero weird egos and political bullshit that this industry is famous for, you get none of the advantages of working with smart people. And smart people are pretty cool, a little whiny and sorta needy sometimes but overall not having to turn my music down all of the time is most excellent. I remember my last job wanted to know what "kind" of radio I wanted to play when I stupidly asked to play the radio. My new job ought me a sweet new iMac and allows me to download music (through i tunes) and encourages me to do stuff like audit classes---on the clock! Much different atmosphere. I also like the fact that we have "Bitch" magazine in plain view...makes me smile!

I. Can't. Stop

2009-11-23T03:44:00Z

Dave Matthews Alert

2009-11-22T05:19:57Z

Oh God...why? As soon as I turn on the tv, after a long day of familial crap why do I have to see Dave Matthews? Souless, boring, three-steps-up-from-muzak crap. Who likes this? Who is keeping this guy in the green? On what planet do these people reside?

Thank you. I'm honestly so glad to hear this commercial.

I'm just bitchy

2009-11-13T04:34:39Z

Tim is playing a Wavy Gravy compilation. I'm entertained but I'm still buying a car. fuck him.
I know a nor'easter as a snowstorm that will occasionally hit Cleveland in the winter. I had no idea that it was an east coast storm system. Now I know. I think a good occasional storm is really good. It puts everyone back on track and allows us to hunker a bit. Last year we were powerless for a week with hurricane Ike and I spent five days at home with the kids playing Farkle and Cards and the occasional board game. I liked it! Of course, spending 48 hours with the heavens pissing on you and just watching water rise isn't fun. At one point this evening when I could hear the transformer blow and the winds started to blow I kept thinking that there are very limited ways to get off of this peninsula and I wasn't very happy. I am also a bit uncomfortable about what is amounting to a five day weekend. Monday will not be fun.

One more thing to bitch about is this crazy cutter who is in my meditation group. This full grown lady decided to threaten suicide this week. It seems like whenever a storm starts to get all of the attention, the mentally ill bubble to the surface. All I can say is that when you tell me that you are going to end your life I will call the police. Either I have saved your life or I have ensured that you will never tell me that you are going to kill yourself ever again.

Mr DJ has made me a little happier. Earlier today I found out that Pandora thinks I am a gay man. Yes, I like Devo but I'm really not into Tears for Fears. hmmmmm.....

chimerachi @ 2009-11-11T22:45:00

2009-11-12T04:32:55Z

Alrighty, I'm just a little pissed off. By any measure I should be happy because I have a day off tomorrow thanks to the nor'easter which I suppose is causing big problems for someone, frankly it was much worse in my neighborhood in August but whateves. The kids are at least delayed tomorrow so I don't have to wake up at the crack of fucking 5am which also makes me pretty happy but I am more than a little concerned that this "car" thing is turning into a car thing. WTF! For the first time in my goddamn life I have money to pay my bills. on time. all of them. It's a life changing turn. It's not like I can buy everything that I need but I have enough money to live. And I have done my fair share of discretionary spending. I went to NYC, I buy expensive beer, I bought the swanky parking pass at work, I pay my babysitter $12/hr. I spend some cash. But homeboy wants to own the world's shittiest cars and pretend like we are slumming. I'm not INTO THAT anymore. I don't mind living below our means...it's fine that we live in a neighborhood that is a bit sketchy. I don't mind that we consider Cogans Pizza fine dining, I can live without cool clothes and weekly manicures. I can handle it that I don't have a wedding ring and that for my birthday I got a Nintendo DS game (not a game that I asked for, by the way. Oh, and it was used). But I want a reliable car. I have been driving a 2001 Chevy Cavalier for several years now. Frankly, I like the car but it's SMALL for a man who is 6'7" and tow kids and me. It's too SMALL to drive 800 miles in. ANd I don't mind renting a car to drive home. I've rented many cars before and I will rent many cars again. But I'm not going to pick your ass up in Hampton when your car breaks down again at midnight, honey. No way. I have spent all summer jumping his car which is even older than mine. It's time to call it quits and get another car. So, today I spent the day on the phone and online looking for something that is a little bigger, not brand new but under warranty, and affordable. I found a few cars and scheduled a test drive. The man thinks that the car is too expensive. It's not. He thinks we should be debt free before we buy a car which is a gorgeous idea and still an attainable idea but motherfucker we need a car! I love love love Norfolk but it's hardly a city big enough for good mass transit. And yes, zip cars are the shit but we need one car that will start, most of the time, in our driveway. I can read edmunds, I'm hardly falling in love with an SUV and then demanding the leather interior. (although I would fucking love a huge car with leather---but I just can't do it) This is a fucking Mazda Tribute (or a Ford Escape---it's the same car. It is! Ford bought Mazda in 2006). And I'm not asking for any money. I didn't argue when he insisted on keeping the house in Ohio and I didn't give him a hard time when we had to evict the tenants and I didn't give him a hard time about the thousands we lost on that deal. We continue to just break even on that house (my house we will have lost 30,000.00 on) and I don't ask him to sell it and be done. But taking about this car is requiring us to have some sore of financial summit tomorrow. WHat a crock of shit. I think that tomorrow, provided that I can get to the dealership (I have heard that we will all be underwater sometime in the next two days) I am just going to go and get the car. It's my money, what the fuck. It just sucks that I get the shitty resistance.

48 hours in NYC

2009-10-19T03:04:06Z

Next weekend.

Bus: $70/rt Norfolk to Chinatown

Hotel in Midtown: $267/ night

Theater tix: $85

food & drinks: $100

I have never paid more than $90/night for a hotel in NYC but I have always stayed in hostels. My friend said that we are too old to have to worry about getting our crap stolen and I think that she is right. Plus this hotel is cheap for NYC standards and is right around the corner from 30 rock--sweet! I really just want to spend a day looking at crap in chinatown and buying cheap funnies. I am supposed to be able to sleep on this bus which leaves Norfolk at midnight and arrives at 8am in NYC. I just hope that I can actually sleep and that I can get my flask on board with no problem. I plan on getting a day pass for the subway and only hope that it doesn't rain.

Thank you gods of disposable cash. I love you.

validation

2009-10-04T16:30:45Z

I can't post this on FB because I have too many professional type contacts on there. So maybe I'll just keep this LJ for my secret stuff, as I intended in 2002 when I started this journal.

There was good news in the casa on Friday, I got the job offer that I have been waiting for since July. The money isn't good but the opportunities are endless. Opportunity tops cash for me right now. Not because I'll actually follow through on everything but because since I moved here I've needed something to keep me moving forward and away from Ohio with the house that isn't selling and the 15 year old who isn't living with me and the job that I had there which sucked a bit of my soul away. Then my Mom, who at age 79 can't quite get over her jealousy of me which is extra strange because I have no idea what she is jealous of! And I have mo kids here who have kept me busy with their school and making friends and all of the things that kids do but when I was left with myself I felt like I had a sack of problems and that was it. Of course, the rejections from employers was a big bummer. I have applied for a little over a hundred jobs, had five interviews which netted me two job offers.

Enough. I will be working with really smart women, one who does annual relief work in Cape Town every summer. So here is the live of the charmed poor: my husband may end up in North Africa all next summer doing a summer fulbright and I may end up a month in South Africa assisting a professor and her research. Happy ending. And it may be next summer--who the hell knows? On a day-to-day basis life is getting better because I am close enough to walk to work, and commuting around here is a bitch. And I hired a sweet, compassionate student to work with my daughter after school. Nice!

Things are on the horizon that never were before. And this past week I was contacted about starting an improv workshop for a university theater department. I am giddy over the thought of teaching improv twice a week and working with college kids. I have written an eight week course several times now and have planned for this opportunity for years.

We are actually starting to be a pretty disgustingly functional family. We joined the YMCA here which is really pretty swanky. It's a six floor facility with almost everything we could need. My son said "hey, they don't even care that we aren't Christians..." I don't know about that son but they will take our money anyway. Because I can't hear anymore, it's pretty dangerous for me to ride my bike on the streets but I can ride the stationary bikes, no problem. In fact I rode 40 miles already this week. I still get shut down by most of the 60 year old men in the cardio room. I'm a big fat tub of goo but I can slowly change that.

My man is at a conference at Georgetown for the next three days. boo.

making that decision

2009-10-01T19:18:07Z

So with two job offers, I have been forced to contact the employer with whom I really want to work and sort of back them into a corner and let them know that although I was very interested in their job, I had received another offer and needed to know my status. I have totally proceeded with the first job but the second employer has invested a shitload of time and money on me already (well, more time than money) and I think that they really want to offer me something but they are probably stuck on what to pay me. I would be taking a pay cut to work either job. But I would rather have the walk to work office and the dressing up, getting my MPA as opposed to the drive all over, everyday is different MA in Ed job. I end up with a masters either route. One of my new friends was just laughing at me about the MPA (she called it a worthless degree) however, she hasn't been in the job market lately, it's a glut of advanced degrees and with so many people back in school, the glut is only going to get gluttier. MA's are a cash cow for universities, I hate to participate in the game but I really hate not making cash.

So I spent the last 16 years with the kids, the next 16 are all about getting a career so I can actually enjoy a job for three years and retire at 75. Living life backwards may be the best mistake I've ever made!

Because I can't post anything on facebook

2009-10-01T05:03:46Z

I had a orientation today to enter the extra glamorous world of substitute teaching. Actually not a bad gig, if they like me I can get a provisional teachers license which will allow me 3 years to get my MA in Spec Ed. So they will start me at a silly wage but if I get a provisional teachers license I'll make over 40k which is more money than I have ever made. I do like the kids, that has never been a problem for me, but being stuck in a classroom for 7 hours a day may make me a little crazy. So I had better have a sensory area for me with black light posters and disco music and a poster of Matt Dillon. If I can hang in a classroom after I get my MA, I can become a Intervention Specialist and make in the neighborhood of $60k which sounds like a good number. Funny, too because I have never made much money, never. I used to brag about working as an actress until it occurred to me that most people wouldn't consider how I lived in my late teens early 20's as really living. My standards have always been on the low side. But now, I can see that money isn't half bad. It remains to be seen if I will even get a classroom, they may hate me.

So VA is weird, it's crazy funky and I think that I like it. I had a conversation in the locker room at the YMCA about putting deodorant on one's thighs to keep one's legs from chaffing. Somehow this sweet little old woman made sticking deodorant up your skirt sound just as quaint as it could be. Maybe it was the North Carolina twang, or her sincerity, or the fact that I had just been chemically assaulted by the pool, either way I was bobbing right along with everything that Aunt Bee said. And when she mentioned that "It sure helps when you spend all Sunday long in the church.." I just nodded. I totally love the south, and not just because I am allowed to talk endlessly about food...no I love the south because as long as I keep a friendly tone to my voice, I can talk about any bat-shit-crazy thing that I want to. For aging chicks like me, it's nirvana. I would have been mortified traipsing through Target in heels and my hair all done but here I felt totally justified to parade my beauty while shopping for knock off laundry room accessories. And seriously, there is a man who plays the piano in their Nordstrom's. A MAN PLAYING THE PIANO IN THE WOMEN'S DEPARTMENT! And, AND the little gift store I like in Ghent giftwraps everything that I buy. How fucking cool is that? Frankly the store smells of old hippie but they wrap my stuff! I remember buying a present at a little crafty store in Columbus and I felt guilty about having to ask for a bit of tape so I could wrap the gift myself in the store. *sigh* but that store in Columbus did sell the "Librarians are Sexy" mug that I bought my librarian sister which she loved. That mug may be a little too ironic for the very gentile Southerners here but that's ok. Irony is for people who live through ice storms and hurricanes in the same year.

Was it this time four years ago that I first entertained the idea of moving south when I went to visit my internet boyfriend in Atlanta? Hard to believe how much has changed since then. Atlanta is a beautiful town, full of everything nice but I'm so glad that I met Tim and I'm really glad to be here. I still don't rule out the pacific northwest as the place I should live but for now, I'm happy.

bla I'm sick

2009-09-20T06:03:54Z

No doubt, I'm dying. I"m supposed to be in AZ this weekend, yucking it up and hanging with the elk in Flagstaff but I'm hanging in VA sick as something sick. I actually like the dreamy, floating feeling of a fever and were it not for the stuffy nose and headache, I would be very happy. I used to pay my dealer to feel this way. (Actually, I bought all of my drugs from my friend who would always indulge with me. Now, you couldn't pay me to smoke pot or drop acid). So I wanted to go to the art museum today but I had a sudden surge of civic duty to keep my germs to myself and decided to go to the beach and let the healing powers of the Chesapeake Bay work their magic. Actually, this may have worked because I was euphoric sitting on the steps to the beach. Maybe it was the fever. And now I am wondering if I will experience every cold virus that it is native to the area of which I am new. fuck. Well, the good news is that my son has a new buddy and they spent the entire day at Busch Gardens. And tomorrow if I am not 1/2 dead, we are going to the free opera performance in Norfolk. There is so much to do in this town, it's awesome. I am also planning my weekend in DC next month. It looks like Amtrak and cheap hotel in Arlington. I <3 the district.

Oh Jesus Christ...

2009-09-14T23:01:45Z

Christians!

Freaking out the locals

2009-07-21T02:39:56Z

I'm Sangha shopping in my new home and I've found a few groups here. I was spoiled by going to the Tibetan cultural center in Bloomington, IN, it was such a cool place. The Buddhists monks that I have met here are Vietnamese and practice a type of Zen that I never heard of before. As long as no one hits me with a stick, I'm going to continue going.

They had a 24 hour retreat this weekend and it was a riot! Here's a great way to freak out the locals: go to the beach with a man dressed like an extra from "The Killing Fields" and take a walking meditation, do a little Tai Chi, then wrap up by sitting under the dock singing. It was a little like a Timothy Leary happening but it was a great experience and the food was amazing.

Everyone is dying

2009-07-09T22:40:17Z

I have had two acquaintances die this week. Both died after complications from taking Percodan (or Percocet---I can't remember which). Both women were recovering from minor surgery and neither one were abusing their medication. One had the lining of her stomach tear and one asphyxiated (I don't have the details of that one). I was consoling a friend over the phone and he said "she was so young,(she was 40) and such a free spirit that I would have hated to see her grow old, anyway" which is kind of a fucked up thing to say. Now, I like impermanence and know that everything falls apart (from the book "Everything Falls Apart") but I hate the suffering of death. Not of the dying part, but the living on after someone is gone. SO many of my friends are grieving right now, and my best friend Cary is grieving the most. She takes on all of this pain and holds it, she is totally compelled to do it. Normally I despise this overly emo crap but she is so honest about it and so truly sad that I just feel sad for her. I'm not sad with her, however. In fact....I spent a good deal of yesterday afternoon sitting at the beach reading a great book "I'm With the Band" wondering why I didn't read it earlier. Sweet Jesus Butter, it's a good one. I wanted to read the first Mary Kerr book, but I can't find it since the move....but I digress. In a way, it is great that Cary's friend dies when MJ did. It gave her an outlet for her sorrow and she was a huge MJ fan and knows way way WAY more about the Jackson 5 than anyone should. In fact, we were hanging in Yellow Springs one day and the made for tv movie "The Jacksons" was playing in the background and she was filling in little anecdotes the whole time. I have always been impressed by her vast knowledge of nothing. She's a great woman, I miss her so much since I've moved so far from home.

happy Canada Day, eh!

2009-07-02T03:03:35Z

Welcome to Norfolk....Bitch

2009-07-02T02:10:13Z

Some drunk hit my car last night. I was sitting at a stoplight and this crazy bitch rammed into some poor sucker who in turn ran into me and another woman. The crazy bitch rolled her barley functioning car into a parking and ran away. SHE RAN AWAY. whore.

Michael Jackson

2009-06-27T05:25:14Z

Now here is the most liberal moment I have had in months....yesterday I'm in Starbucks, doing my handicrafts when a transgendered person comes in to announce that Michael Jackson had died and I immediately started to cry. CRY. I called Tim who confirmed the news and I was totally dysfunctional for the rest of the day. Tim's life is pop music so he helped me decompress and sort out my startling reaction to MJ's death and I am really so happy that he was there for me. Of course, being away from my friends and family has made me feel a little off balance anyway but this was a serious loss regardless. I grew up roller skating to all of the songs from "off the wall" and for years "don't stop till you get enough" was my ringtone. Maybe it's because he was from Gary, maybe it's the working class midwestern roots I just don't know. Maybe it was the CONSTANT exposure to him when I was in high school but I just feel like he was a part of my life. I lived for a few years in an artist community sequestered away from the rest of the world---it was a great time. I learned a lot about being an artist but one thing that I learned is that being white is something that we are all trying to escape. There is nothing creative, nothing interesting and nothing fun about being white. Everyone I lived with was working as an artist (it was a condition to living there) and I lived with actors, writers, a fairly well known painter and performers of all varieties so we all had fairly different mediums and the chip that we had on our shoulders because of our waspy (or waspy-ish) upbringing was palpable. I think that when MJ became (in effect) white, it was truly awful for him. Of course there was his familial issues as well. So in effect, MJ was pretty punk rock. An outsider.

I have always been sad about the death of radio...as much as I love my ipod...I miss the shared experience. I like cable, I like access to media but I do miss top ten. I miss knowing radio stations. (can you say WMMS?) MJ's death feels like the first of a long list of goodbye's to my childhood. My long, extended adolescence.

Peroidic Insomnia Rages

2009-06-25T06:48:36Z

So I hurried my ass up to get to VA because I had a big job interview and I didn't get the job. I am living off of unemployment and my husband. I have always been a big believer that work is seriously overrated however, having a job to go to does break up the day nicely. And then there is the money. I am at an age now where painting my own toes is just a waste of my time but I really can't justify spending my unemployment money on a pedicure. I am lazy but I do have standards.

The only dignified thing for me to do is some sort of volunteer work while I pound away meeting people to secure some sort of career. I looked into the spca. Well, I drove by the spca and thought about stopping in. I love animals but I really don't need animal shit in my life. So I think that I will have to find somewhere else to utilize my many god given talents. (well, that is if you count the ability to keep up with all of VH1's reality shows a talent). I have only once obtained a job by applying for it, everything is who you know and here I know almost no one. I do have my husband's colleagues, and they are all really great people but I can't count on them for everything. I was the lucky recipient of some Japanese chachkes and some Turkish spices from my husband's coworkers--no jobs or leads on jobs but stuff none the less.

Maybe I'll get a wig. that might be cool!

Someone told me...

2009-06-20T15:10:21Z

That Norfolk wasn't funky. Whomever said that had obviously never lived in central Ohio.

blah

2008-12-08T00:35:26Z

I spent an entire day in bed Friday. I am actually jealous of myself. Yesterday I spent a few hours at the craft fair at the North Market sitting at my friend's booth. I spent a silly amount of money. I also spent a few hours in the Emergency room, and sometime in the next five years we will figure out what's wrong with me. Am I getting an annoying yuppie disease? Anyone is allowed to shoot me if I am.

I have spent the past fours days more or less on my own, I haven't been working, no kids, husband is gone and I spent lots of time sleeping. Sure I am sick but it's still scary that at no point in the past four days have I been bored, or tired of laying around. I have watched VH1 nonstop all day today---even the 'Larry the Cable Guy' Christmas special. It had Lisa Lampanelli, and she is so so so funny. I was only distressed by the commercial for the movie "Bride Wars", I really didn't need to see that.

ok, enough with the ennui.

I'm going nuts

2008-11-04T19:25:57Z

This is the first year that I have worked on election day in memory. Jesus this sucks! I usually take the day off and I am at the edge of my seat. When your father worked in politics, like my dad did and always had a patronage job, this was the day you found out if you were going to be going on a cool vacation the next summer of if we were going to have to have to start another family paper route. If my dad's boss didn't get elected, we were going to be out of a job. Mind you, this was a once in four year experience but there was always a campaign that we all logged in hours of work on---even when I was very young. When you work in politics, you have to work tirelessly for others just in case you will be looking for work. It's the way I grew up. My dad replaced an addiction to beer with politics. He never made much money, he truly hated money.

This is old, but still fun!

2008-11-02T03:44:58Z

Columbus has crêpes...we are now a real city!

2008-10-19T15:36:09Z

Last night I went here: http://www.junctionviewstudios.com/v.2/ for a really cool show. It was great after many years of going to these events to see people look like they were having fun and glad to be there. The work being done here is exciting (seriously) and refreshing and genuine. So I was already happy enough but I was OVER THE MOON to see a crêpe vendor outside. Yes! Outdoor crêpes are the absolute sign of a World Class City, there is no doubt. So now when I leave Columbus, I will feel certain and safe that you are all in capable hands now that we have a crêpe vendor.

Also, the Warhol exhibit at the Wexner Center is amazing. It is impossible to see everything in one trip and I highly recommend it for the young kids. Uncle Andy would love to see the kids sitting in the listening booths and playing with the mylar clouds (gently playing). God, this has been a great weekend!

Since I'm on a roll, seeing DEVO in Akron at the beautiful Akron Civic theater was dreamy. I was happy to see so many people there and, again, the love was there. Lots of love. The Black Keys are frightening. Wow, those kids are good. And Chrissy Hynde showed which made me pee. I screamed "I love you, Chrissy". My brother and I gave up our last row seats half way through Devo's set to go up front and dance in the isles---good stuff! Then I ran into Lila and Frank and we had a drink. Frank is from Akron so he was all pumped to see Devo back home. The indy bar across the street from the theater was perfect. They had all of the Great Lake brews on tap but I opted for water and a red bull since I was driving home. Great show, great company and all for Obama. I missed Tim terribly at the show and I'm so glad that he encouraged me to go.

Now next week it's NORFOLK! Yeah, baby.

OHJESUSFUCKINGCHRIST

2008-10-17T03:17:57Z

The Black Keys and DEVO tomorrow night at the Akron Civic Theater
http://www.clubdevo.com/mp/live.html

Why GOD oh WHY????? I am working all day tomorrow.

I am going to the Wexner Center on Saturday. But still....

Forget Palin---it's all about McCain

2008-09-14T14:28:40Z

http://www.latimes.com/news/printedition/opinion/la-oe-steinem4-2008sep04,0,1290251.story

I love Larry Flynt

2008-09-13T01:04:50Z

"It's autumn in New York. The leaves are falling. Earlier today, John McCain admitted he doesn’t know how many rakes he owns."
---David Letterman
-
"There are only 56 days until the election. I saw that they’re selling Sarah Palin action figures. Sad incident at Toys R Us today---a Sarah Palin doll shot My Little Pony."
---Jimmy Kimmel
-
"Well, it's a very strange political campaign. I mean, out on the campaign trail, John McCain and Sarah Palin are talking about how they stood up to the Republican party, they fought the Republican establishment, and they battled Republicans. Their message: vote Republican."
---Jay Leno
-
"Sarah Palin has been getting briefed on what she needs to know to be John McCain’s vice president. The first thing they taught her was CPR."
---Conan O'Brien
-
"New Rule: Republicans must stop saying Obama is an elitist and just admit you don't like him because of something he can't help, something that's a result of the way he was born. Admit it---you're not voting for him because he's smarter than you."
---Bill Maher